Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Fakery, not hypocrisy

As the sad ballad of Louisiana Rep. Vance McAllister winds its way through the news cycle and the tabloids, those who accused the self-professed Christian family man of hypocrisy [I did] owe the esteemed Congressman an apology. It turns out Mr. McAllister was never quite the Joe Christian he claimed to be. According to an interview on CNN with the husband of the staffer Congressman Tongue Action was seen on video orally assaulting, there was a fair amount of fakery involved:
"I know his beliefs. When he ran one of his commercials, he said 'I need your prayers,' and I asked, 'When did you get religious?' He said, 'When I needed votes,'" Peacock recalled. "He broke out the religious card and he's about the most non-religious person I know."
So there you go. Apologies are in order to all upstanding, devoted Congresshusbands of faith who somehow felt sullied by Vance's dance. He is not one of you.

There does remain the small matter of McAllister's celebrity endorser, Willie Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame. Of course, the fakery that is Duck Dynasty is well documented, so perhaps there's some symmetry to the partnership.

It's worth mentioning the vast majority of elected officials on Capitol Hill who claim Christ as their savior, as well as those who do not, manage to get through each high-pressure day without some physical relief from a member of the opposite sex who is not his or her spouse.

The larger question here is why Mr. McAllister felt he had no chance to win an election in the great state of Louisiana unless he dressed up in the trappings of a dedicated, church-attending Jesus worshiper, proving that it doesn't take but a half-talented video producer to turn an overgrown frat boy into a family man.

The obvious answer is that the voting citizens who reside in certain geographic segments of our fine Republic don't really care if you've ever read a book or possess basic math skills or can locate Ireland on a map; if you profess faith in the god of the Bible you have exceeded the bar for qualification for elected office.

While I highly doubt it, here's hoping the revelation of Congressman McAllister's alternate identity will spur some substantive conversation about why you can be convicted of bestiality but if you pledge adherence to Christianity you have more of a chance of getting elected to public office than an atheist who prefers having sex with fellow human beings.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Mississippi to the rescue

Last week Mississippi became the latest state to address the horrific human rights issue of Christians being rounded up and sent to jail for publicly expressing their faith. Signed by Governor Phil Bryant just as a number of Christians were being lined up for the gallows, the Mississippi Religious Freedom Restoration Act will save the lives of countless Christians who are increasingly oppressed under the Communists who have usurped power in the United States in recent years.

The movement against Christianity, started by secular leftists empowered by the election of an anti-American Kenyan Muslim as President, commenced with the shuttering of churches and subsequent surveillance of Christian neighborhoods to prevent the insidious growth of home churches. The Secular Leftist Front (SLF), as they named themselves, then proceeded to padlock all Christian bookstores, preventing access to the high-quality inspirational music, books, and movies that are a cornerstone of the Christian faith.

Of course, the movement didn't stop there. Working with agents in the television industry, it managed to ban all Christian television shows, robbing Christians of their rights to watch faith healings and to learn which group of secularists are responsible for the latest hurricane. It also left retired viewers with nowhere to send their social security checks.

The next obvious targets were the private religious schools. The SLF sent their children to infiltrate the schools and eventually forced school administrators to replace the bible with The Communist Manifesto. Children were forced to eat vegetables per Comrade Michelle Obama's order. Daily reading of the New York Times was required and children dared not mention what they might have heard on Fox News the previous evening lest they be punished by being forced to read Noam Chomsky.

The last straw was without a doubt the banning of the sale of Duck Dynasty bobble heads from Gidgdet's Gifts from God in downtown Hattiesburg. The 80-year-old proprietor fired off a letter to her representatives and the next thing you know Governor Bryant was signing the bill to rescue Mississippi's Christians from the secular abyss.

The lesson here is that there's not much distance between enforcing the separation of church and state and sentencing people of faith to the electric chair.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

25 Years

They used to say the best thing about the Internet is that anyone can be a publisher and the worst thing about the Internet is that anyone can be a publisher. The World Wide Web turned 25 a few days ago and those of us who are old enough to remember a world without the Internet can reminisce about our first online escapades; AOL chat rooms [pick your subject!], domain speculation, and satisfying one's curiosity about which companies were taking the early dive into the Internet pool.

As highlighted in this HuffPo column, the Web has proven to be something of an equalizer for under-resourced nonprofits to more broadly share success stories and information about their work I recall stuffing my head in a programming guide and banging out a gopher site for my employer -- a philanthropic association -- back in the day. I can't imagine at the time there was an uglier online thing to look at.

I'll leave the debate about whether the Internet and the Web have made us all dumber or shortened our attention spans or turned us all into digital zombies to the psychiatrists. There's no doubt the Web has strengthened the work of nonprofit charities and allowed them to touch more lives.

World Vision caves

Enough conservative evangelical heads exploded over World Vision's announcement that it would consider legal same-sex marriages equal to legal opposite-sex marriages in its hiring practices that the organization hastily reversed itself a mere 24 hours later. It's worth noting that when Conservative Christians protest against or boycott an organization or company for its support of gay rights, they are simply upholding a moral standard that they and their favorite god have placed not just upon them but also their fellow citizens. When those who believe being gay is not necessarily enough to send one to the fiery pit of hell protest the anti-gay musings of a Duck Dynasty "superstar," that in and of itself is fascism and a severe challenge to the concept of free speech.

The line in the sand on these things is always drawn just in front of the feet of gays and lesbians. One gets the sense World Vision could fail to comply with a host of dos and don'ts in scripture without a peep from the Christian right; suggest it's kosher for two people of the same sex to pledge everlasting love to each other and you've crawled into bed with Satan.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

New Music

Arthur Beatrice: Midland

Buying a slur

Washington's professional American football team announced yesterday it has launched a foundation to benefit Native American tribes across the country. The one word missing from the four-page press release? Redskin.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

World Vision explodes heads

World Vision, the highly regarded Christian charity that fights child hunger in the United States and abroad, has changed its hiring policies to include the employment of gays who are in legal, same-sex marriages. In other words, if you're in a legally recognized relationship, World Vision will have you regardless of your sexual orientation.

Predictably, this has frazzled the self-appointed morality police who simply can't fathom the notion that two persons of the same sex might find love and happiness. One can usually count on Peter LaBarbera, President of Americans for Truth about Homosexuality and perhaps the nation's foremost concern troll with what gay men do with their penises, to pen a deeply felt lament about this latest capitulation to the homosexual agenda:
By recognizing homosexual “marriages” in its hiring practices and treating them like actual marriages, World Vision has not only entered the debate over this issue but greatly advanced the LGBT agenda by lending “Christian” credibility to “gay” activists’ misleading “marriage equality” propaganda.
If Porno Pete loves anything it's words and phrases surrounded by quotation marks. Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council:
In an announcement that continues to shock and dismay its supporters, President Richard Stearns closed the chapter on six decades of an incredible witness, driving a deep and irreparable stake into the heart of Christian outreach.
Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association:
World Vision has made the tragically misguided decision to embrace sodomy. This once-evangelical organization has now abandoned any pretense of being guided and governed by biblical principle, and now intends to welcome into their [sic] ranks those whose "marriages" are based on acts which are an abomination in the eyes of God.
Michael Brown on
Let it be stated plainly to the leadership and board of directors of World Vision U.S.: The Lord Jesus is no longer central in the corporate life of your organization. You have denied his lordship by your actions.
Let it be stated plainly that if you're pissing off this crowd you're likely on to something.